i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
