We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Buhtt sex?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
