Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
