last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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