I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
