ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
