Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
