some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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