ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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