Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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