he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
