Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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