I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize