Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
