i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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