The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
