You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
