dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
