will power is for people who don't want to get laid
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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