Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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