how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
