Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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