i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
