She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
there is glitter all over my balls
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