Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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