You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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