we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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