we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
