she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
