i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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