I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
