ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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