Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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