I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
