Apparently you make a good broom.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
