Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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