and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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