So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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