In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I smell stomach acid.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
