Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
