well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
what the fuck happened to the tacos
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
