NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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