so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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