my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize