if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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