where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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