Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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