he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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