Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Randomize
