my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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