i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize