I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Send help, water and tortillas.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize