Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I am spending my child support on dildos
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
