I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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