i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
