So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
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