Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
