Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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