make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
