if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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