I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
