Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
