That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
