no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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