too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
