Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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