is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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