it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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