And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
